VAIRĀGYA PRAKARAṆA I-3
I. VAIRĀGYA PRAKARAṆA
Dispassion of Rāma 3
Desire— The pack of owls called passion and anger play in the Ākāśa of Ātman during the night of restless desires enveloped by the intense gloom of dire delusion.
All my much longed-for, virtuous actions are entirely gnawed away by my desires like a fiddle- string by a rat. Being without a mind which has Ātma-jñāna, I am enmeshed by them, like a bird caught in a trap, and droop thereby.
The fire of desire has scalded me. In my present state, I do not think that even a bath in ambrosia would cool me.
Like the intense darkness of the new-moon day, they make the most undaunted of persons quail with fear, daze the eye of intelligence and create tremors even in the hearts of the wise, who have sweet patience.
This old harlot, desire, of the nature of the ominous owl, ever follows persons in the hope of inciting them to earn wealth but in vain.
Like a dancing woman who, though enfeebled by age, dances in vain without true joy, all my desires (play in me in a similar manner and) afflict me.
They try to encompass things beyond their reach; but even if such things are within their grasp, they pass over them and again long for happiness (in other things).
Like monkeys, they roam about without any fixed seat. Like bees that rejoice, flying from one flower to another in a garden, they traverse in a moment Pāṭala, Ākāśa and all the eight quarters of the world.
It is these ever-waxing desires that bring on the pain of rebirth, the heaviest of all pain.
The Devas (celestials) extol disinclination of the mind (towards objects) as the greatest panacea for the disease of desires which afflicts even those living in palatial mansions guarded by forts.
It is desire that makes the deep inner bg-sky man manifest itself externally, like radiant damsels wearing golden bracelets, or the rays of the sun which make the lotus bud blossom forth (and appear externally).
These desires of the mind, which are like a diamond point or a sharp-pointed sword or like the sparks of iron emitted out of fire, in one moment reduce to nothing men as great as Mahāmeru, or handsome, wise men or the courageous, or warriors or any others.
This body which is composed of the intestines, muscles, etc. and is subject to change, being at one time fat and at another time lean, comes into being in this mundane existence simply to undergo pain.
What thing more palpably fruitless, pain-giving and degraded could be conceived of than this body which oscillates with pain or pleasure through the increase or decrease of the experience of objects?
Of what avail is this body —whether eternal or otherwise, liable to pain and pleasure—a house which is tenanted by Ahaṁkāra, the householder with the ten mischievous cows, the Iṅdriyas (the organs), the servant Manas (mind), producing Saṁkalpa, and his partner, desire, with the portals of the mount adorned by a festoon of many teeth, and the monkey which is the tongue?
If this body which is the medium of enjoyment of wealth, kingdom, actions, etc. exists always, then no doubt it is something that should be longed for; but all these will vanish with the advent of Yama (death) at the appointed time.
What beauty is there to be enjoyed in this body which is composed of blood and flesh, has the tendency to rot, is the same for the rich as well as the poor and, being without discrimination, is subject to growth and decay.
Only he who relies, with certainty upon a lightning flash or an autumnal cloud or a vast Gandharva (illusory) city will cling to this body as real.
Infancy— Whatever (person) you are born as, in this ocean of Saṁsāra (mundane existence) rolling with the many waves of diversified actions in a restless and fluctuating state, the period of infancy is the cause of intense pain.
This period is attended by unavoidable dangers, weaknesses, inability to convey ideas, ignorance, desires and instability of thought.
And in this body it is that the mind functions and outdoes, in its fluctuation, the ocean waves or a damsel's eyes or the flames of a fire or a lightning flash.
The infant feeds itself on dirt like a roving dog and rejoices or weeps at trifles. Sometimes it eats the dust and invites the moon in the sky to come near it. Does all this ignorance constitute bliss?
This mischievous period of infancy which creates terror in the hearts of one’s master, parents, relatives, elders, etc. is the source of perpetual fear and a nest replete with many stains. The bawd of non-discrimination finds a safe asylum in it.
During this period none enjoys happiness.
Youth— Having crossed this period beset with many dangers, one reaches the period of youth, liable to another kind of pain, and then reels and droops under the heavy blows dealt by the devil called Manmathā (the god of love) who lives (latent) in the hollows of his mind.
His noble intelligence, though broadened in its views through a study of all departments of knowledge, though illumined through the service of the Guru, and purified through good Karmas will yet be defiled like a muddy stream.
Out of the heated desert which is the body arises the mirage which is youth, seeking which the deer of mind falls giddily into the pit of sensual objects.
Pain increases so long as there are the pleasures of youth to be enjoyed. Similarly, desires increase mightily till youth ends, and work manifold mischief.
He only is a man who has acquired (while young) the power to attain salvation easily, overcoming all the obstacles of youth. Such a person is fit to be worshipped by all, is truly wise and is one who; has known his true state.
Is there to be found, in this universe, the period of youth (in the lives of any) adorned with such inestimable qualities as grace, humility, etc. and fit to be the safe asylum (of persons)? We may as well look for a spacious forest in the Sky above.
Lust — What happiness is there to be derived from the string-tossed puppets which are female bodies, composed of joints, muscles, bones and flesh?
Oh, how can there arise fine desires for women with soft tendrils of hair, if we once dissect (or analyse) with our minds their eyes and other parts of the body into their components of skin, flesh, blood and tears, etc.
The breasts of females adorned with pearl-garlands and other ornaments, like unto the waters of the Ganga with its long waves flowing down from the great Meru heights, are preyed upon (or enjoyed) by men like packs of dogs licking balls of cooked rice strewn in the crematoriums in the suburbs of a town.
Which person is there in this world who will not be burnt like straw when exposed to the flames of females proceeding from the (fire of) sin and having darkness in the shape of sable locks, scalding men with their eyes?
The cool body of females (which one enjoys) serves as the dry fuel with which to burn one in hell. Dames with dark eyes are like traps set by Kāma (the god of desire) to ensnare the ignorant minds of men.
They resemble also the bait of flesh strung in the angling hook of excruciating torments in order to lure the fish which are men in the pool of rebirth replete with the mud of the dire mind.
Oh, I will never long for the pleasure of women who are like caskets locking up within them infinite misery and enclosing the gems which are endless desire, hatred, etc.
If we begin to analyse this body into flesh, blood, bones, muscles, etc. then our desire for women, said to shine with the moon’s resplendence, will become distasteful in a short time.
Only he who has a spouse (and tastes the conjugal pleasures) lusts after such enjoyment; otherwise how can he feel the pleasures of conjugal life?
If the lust for women which is the source of all enjoyment ceases, then worldly bondage which has its substratum in the mind will cease. With the cessation of the (conception of this) universe which exists only in name, there dawns the eternal, divine bliss.
The lust for women which, being without discrimination, is enchanting at a distance, grows always, even if gratified, and flutters like the wings of a honey-bee and is hard to give up.
Being afraid of the terrible consequences it brings, such as diseases, death, dotage and mental and other pain, I do not long after it now. Without its renunciation, how can I expect to attain the Brāhmic state?
Dotage— The stage of infancy is succeeded by the stage of youth; the latter is, in its turn, devoured by that of old age with its great changes.
If dotage sets in, accompanied as it is by delusion, disease, pain, etc. then one’s ripe intelligence bids adieu, like the affection of a husband towards his first wife after marrying a second one.
With dotage, there ensues manifold pain, such as decline of this body of the nine gates, forgetfulness, inability to gratify desire or perform the requisite actions, dire diseases, complete helplessness in obtaining things required and the scorn heaped by sons, etc.
Friends, issues, relatives, servants, etc. laugh at the poor man who is quivering with old age. Like owls resting in the hollows of a tree, his desires remain in his uncouth form, full of pain and devoid of strength and good qualities.
In old age, beset with frailties and imbecility, when dangers, with desires as their hand-maids, burn one’s heart, all kinds of imaginary fears arise as man is unable to cope with the desires which arise involuntarily in him and to contemplate the beneficial nature of existence in the higher world.
Thirst for joy in material objects increases with old age; but the person is powerless to gratify that thirst. Being unable to enjoy them, he is dejected.
Death lays its hand on grey heads which are like ripe pumpkins of the genus that become grey at their proper time.
It is before the king called Death that the armies of mental and physical diseases march in procession in this world, having the insignia of the Cāmara called greyness.
In the tabernacle of this body, white-washed by greyness, there live the dames called dangers, an imbecile mind and diseases that make one droop.
What bliss can we expect to derive from association with this old grey hag of dire dotage? It is very difficult to do away with the desires of old age by getting rid of the three kinds of desire (for son, wife and wealth).